Me Flirting Doesn’t Equal You Flirting

I would like to start this blog off with this common misconception. I have read countless stories all over the internet about waitresses getting jipped of their tips because there’s either an angry girlfriend or a guy who totally got the wrong idea. First off, I am NOT looking for your number. Sorry guys, but 9 out of 10 times, waitresses (or waiters) are just being extremely friendly because you hold our next car payment in your wallet. Let’s be honest, my $3.50 an hour wage isn’t going to cut it.

Also, you know that joke that you told that was mildly sexist? That was barely a joke and not even funny. I’m laughing on the outside but screaming into an empty abyss on the inside. A waitress will laugh because it makes you feel good. Making people feel good is a waitress’s job, not a hobby. This will generally lead to a generous tip. 

Second off, when your waitress slightly touches your shoulder, do not automatically think we are trying to get any lower than that. Maybe for your wallet, but that’s a dangerous trip that I would not want to venture for. And single fellas, don’t lie to yourself, we all know that’s the closet contact from any woman you have gotten for a couple of months. I would also like to dedicate a sentence to those douchebags that do leave their number on the receipt, but not just that, they also leave a pitiful tip. You guys are the literal meaning of human garbage.

And then, to all of those psychotic girlfriends who get mad at their bubbly waitress… stop. We hate being happy all the time, and believe me, half the time we are being flirty with you too. Waitresses don’t care about your gender, all they care about is who has the fattest wallet. So stop being insecure over a waitress, they are in and out of your life in less than an hour. If you’re that worried about your relationship, I think that maybe you should reconsider your life decisions.